ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
operation harelip BJ is a go
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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