I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
