Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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