im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
