Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
