do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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