My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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