If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
