am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
