that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
