Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
