genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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