i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
