The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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