You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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