1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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