So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
