Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
