If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
