I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
