Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
