trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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