let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
