is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
