omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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