Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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