He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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