kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
