Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
