is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
