he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
