Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
