Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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