she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
