Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need water and some morals
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
