A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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