He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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