The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pappa wants mamma naked
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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