I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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