At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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