So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
