So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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