Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
