Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
