Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
