Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
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