Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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