and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Sext me about skeletons
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
