Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
