So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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