It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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