these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
