Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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