Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
