There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
