i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
