he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
