at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
